This is a critique for the #FeedbackFrenzy competition


Critique


The anatomy of this picture has been well done, I won't comment on how to fix the nose as you already did a wonderful job of it on the old version. Within this picture there are two main things which need your attention:

1. Shading
2. Background (or lack of)

No matter how pale the skin may be on a person, unless they have pure white skin then the skin should also not be white except for highlights. I'd suggest shading in very gently with your pencil on it's side all of the person including the hair and clothes except for the lightest areas. This will hopefully make the picture have a softer feel to it and just allow it to work together rather then appearing to have separate parts that have been put together.

When you do shade keep in mind the object you're shading. You should as a general rule keep your shading in more or less the same direction unless your hatching and even then the lines should all follow a specific direction instead of being random. With that in mind the shading should also follow the direction of the object you're shading. The hair strands for the most part follow both of these suggestions, but there are a few areas in the hair where it looks like you've had trouble figuring out where to put the pencil. If you place lines on the paper as gently as you possibly can and build up with layers of pencil, then you'll find the layers will build up and for the most part be able to cover up little mistakes that would otherwise be impossible to hide if you only use one layer that you've put a lot of pressure on the pencil for.

The other advantage of doing layers of shading, is it's a lot easier to gauge where you need to place more shading as you 're doing it. If you haven't already, I'd suggest buying some darker lead pencils as well. Start with the lightest pencil, and then gradually switch to darker pencils to go over the darker parts of the picture. There's only so dark a HB pencil can go no matter how many layers you put or how hard you press, so if you ever want to improve the next step will be to get a range of different lead pencils. They can come in the following from lightest to darkest:

9H 8H 7H 6H 5H 4H 3H 2H H F HB B 2B 3B 4B 5B 6B 7B 8B 9B
Hardest → Medium → Softest

The first half is read as #Hard. for example 9H would be 9Hard, 6H would be 6Hard
The second half is read as #Black. for example 2H would be 2Hard, 7H would be 7Hard

You don't need to get all of them, but I would suggest getting at least a 4B or 6B pencil.

Here's an image to demonstrate the value differences between the pencils
[link]

It'd also be good if there was something in the background
Even if it was just a light bit of shading would be better then plain white.

Hope this critique helps

Hi ! I'm here to give you some FeedbackFrenzy critique

This is a good beginning, and a great improvement compared to your first attempt.
You have some parts greatly done : the eyes, the mouth (though if it was less sharp it would look more realistic but it's all right) and the hand (which is already a lot).

So before I give you any feedback my first advice is about coloring with pencils (any pencils) : never color as you do with sharp straight movements, always make soft circular movements so you won't see the pencil marks (this doesn't apply for the hair obviously).

So now for the critique. You pointed out the problem with the nose, and I can't really help you with this because I hate drawing noses ^^. But you have drawn all the different parts correctly, they just have to be assemble differently. The main thing is that it goes straight upon the mouth.
Then I agree with the previous feedback : you need more shadows, especially on the neck. But I won't develop it, since it has already been done.
Last is the hair, and the main problem here is that drew too much of it. But a tutorial will explain it better than me. So here are 2 links to deviant tutorials, the first about drawing hair, the second about hair and light & shadows : [link] & [link]

Good luck with her, I'm sure you'll be able to do a really good portrait of her soon

hello, i'm commenting on behalf of #FeedbackFrenzy's current contest

first i would like to say that you've certainly captured her likeness. the left eye and her face shape are right on

though i wouldn't say that the drawing looks all together finished to me...

the reason i say this is because it's lacking a lot of shadows or differentiating values.
this could be resolved fairly easily by choosing a light source and putting in some cast shadows where her hair covers her face, under her chin, lips, nose, brows, and on her cheek on either side of the nose (depending on where you want to light to be coming from)
if you were to revisit this i would also suggest adding some dark areas to the hair, like the bit on the right under her bangs, or on the outer right edge (which would add to the hair's volume) as well as highlighting some strands where the light shines most harshly.

alternatively, if you wanted to keep the image as more of a contour, i would suggest strengthening some of the lines in place of adding shadows. this would mean that the edge under her chin, on the inside of her wrist, the bottom of her nose and lips, as well as anywhere else that would have a cast shadow under it would have a thicker line. also remember that in contour images thinner lines recede in space and thicker ones advance

Lovely - it's unmistakeably her

whow!! this is so good

Amazing!